The loss has been great. Loss of family members and those we love. Loss of businesses, loss of jobs, loss of income, loss of property. It’s almost unbearable. Along with the actual loss, there are also phycological losses. Loss of identity, loss of a healthy self-image, loss of confidence, and loss of hope. With all this loss comes a sense of lostness. Where do we go, what do we do, who are we? All these unanswered questions weigh heavily on us. It bogs us down and keeps us from moving forward.
We must grieve. Denial doesn’t work. Covering it up doesn’t work. Acting as if everything is OK doesn’t work. Anger doesn’t work. Vindictiveness doesn’t work. Blame doesn’t work.
To move forward we must allow ourselves to grieve. Depending upon the situation and the degree of hurt and pain this may take a while. Everyone is different. But, it may sound morbid, grieving is a healing agent. Like the need for sweat to come out of our pours, we need to have grief come out of our hearts. Only then, will we be able to heal.
Acceptance is also needed. Denial keeps things bottled up, but the sooner we accept our situation the sooner we can become productive. In the movie, Mr. Baseball, Tom Selleck plays a major league baseball player who has been traded to a Japanese baseball team, learns the value of acceptance. Tom’s character is angry and resistant to his new situation. His new girlfriend, a daughter of Tom’s coach, teaches Tom to “accept.” Accept the situation. Accept your circumstances. Accept all that has happened. And in our acceptance, we relinquish the fight and release our pent-up anger and frustration.
Grieving is healing and acceptance is freeing.